What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 22.06.2025 03:37
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
My family never makes their pension either.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Sean Combs Trial: Possible Juror Dismissal and Mogul’s ‘Threatening’ Voice Notes - Rolling Stone
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Marathon isn’t going to be another Concord, Sony insists - polygon.com
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Ive learnt so much.
'Really excited about this group': 5 takeaways from Seahawks minicamp - The Seattle Times
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
They are buried together, in the same grave..
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
She loved him until the end.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Did you become a cuckold for your wife?
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
I was very sick at this time too.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
What to know about nerve pain and tingling hands and feet - The Washington Post
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
But, we were locked up after school.
Are there any more 'nun' jokes?
I think the readers, may guess!
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
And i lived it daily.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
What are the latest developments in the tech industry?
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I was scared of men, in general
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
‘Strawberry Moon’ June 2025: See The Lowest Full Moon Since 2006 - Forbes
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
He resisted the act ,that day.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
This is soul school!.
I waited trembling.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
We all went to grammer schools
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
When she asked me how she looked .
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Put me off passion for life!!
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
This is how, and why children get BPD.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
What did i know ?
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
All the time i was locked up.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
But it wasn’t much.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Im still living with it.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I could never make a relationship work though!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I have no regrets .
She found it foreign!.
Would this be the day?
Why did i forgive my father ?
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Especially a lifetime of it.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
He knew the spot.
It was going to be , some day.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
As i do to all so called friends.?
I said to her
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Who then, do I blame.?
I will be 64.
I was seconnd youngest,
I couldn’t, believe it.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
So whats the point in blame.
Was to survive, this bastard.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
I don,t even have a pension.
She was in good health!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I never cut or harmed myself..
Comes on , in middle age.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
She married twice! .
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
We were not on the streets..
(And it was in our own minds.)
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
So, i spoilt her more .
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Im dying but, im not bitter.
My life is so biszare .
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I write beautiful poetry .
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I was 9 years of age.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
She wouldn,t have been !
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
But ive been too sick for many years..
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
One cannot live in the past .